Post funny stuffs & jokes here
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09-10-2014, 07:17 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-07-2015 03:14 PM by AK10.)
Post: #1
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Post funny stuffs & jokes here
Hi guys...
Post your funny jokes, quotes, sayings, one-liners, pictures, etc here.. And pls follow the forum rules too. Here is one: Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! I’m going home now. [color=Grey]Think Different.[/color] |
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09-24-2014, 07:13 PM
(This post was last modified: 12-06-2014 10:11 AM by AK10.)
Post: #2
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RE: post jokes
There was once a man who was being chased by a dog in a circle.
Another man comes and says: "Careful mate! he's gonna catch you! " The man replies confidently: " Not to worry... I'm four laps ahead of the dog". [color=Grey]Think Different.[/color] |
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09-24-2014, 07:36 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-24-2014 07:36 PM by Dictator.)
Post: #3
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RE: post jokes
What is the most popular word in the world,which begings with
F and ends with K? . . . . . . . . . . . its 'Facebook' and the word you thought is the 2nd most popular word in the world |
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09-24-2014, 07:47 PM
(This post was last modified: 12-06-2014 10:13 AM by AK10.)
Post: #4
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RE: post jokes
Santa buys a ticket and
wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. Our Santa says, "I want my $20 million." The man replied, "No, Sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years. Santa said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it." Again, the man explained that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years. Santa, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! if you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my 1 dollar back!" [color=Grey]Think Different.[/color] |
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09-30-2014, 01:12 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-22-2016 05:54 AM by AK10.)
Post: #5
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RE: post jokes
1.A man goes to see the doctor and says "doctor i keep forgetting stuff" and the doctor replies "how long have you had this problem?"...the man replies "what problem?"
2.Last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky...then i thought where the hell is my roof! 4.Stupid sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report appeared on his phone and he started dancing. What was the report? The report said DELIVERED.... 5.Tom: What will happen if the earth rotates 30 times faster than usual?? Tony: Oh well. We'll get our salaries every day. 6.Interviewer: Congrats, u r selected. Ur 1st year salary is Rs.60,000 & Next year will be Rs.1,00,000. Candidate: O.K. Sir. Thank you.I'll join next year. 7.Q: HOw do the chinese gave names to their kids???? ANS:they drop a metal can down the stairs and what sound it makes thats the name! [color=Grey]Think Different.[/color] |
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09-30-2014, 09:51 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-30-2014 10:15 PM by Aipico Armand.)
Post: #6
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RE: post jokes
***Police: where do u live?
Me: with my parents Police: where does ur parents live? Me: with me Police: where do u all live? Me: together Police: where is ur house? Me: next to my neighbors house Police: where is your neighbors house? Me: if i tell you u wont believe me. Police: tell me Me: next to my house ***Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning ***Cop: "Did you kill this man?" Me: "No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed." ***Jack and Jill went up a hill, So Jack could lick her candy, Well Jack got a shock and mouthful of cock, 'Cause Jill's real name was Randy. ***Q: Is google a boy or girl? A: Obviously a girl because it wont let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas ***I was walking along the street the other day when I slipped in dog shit. A minute later, some guy did exactly the same thing. I said to him, "I just did that." So, he punched me in the face and called me a dirty bastard. *** 6 year old kid was watching spongebob when he turned around and said " I know why squidward wears no pants! It's because his winky is on his face! ***How we wake up I'm the morning: Brain: "Oh f*ck." Body: "Don't get up." D*ck: "THIS IS SPARTAA!!!" [img]http://savepic.ru/11668437.jpg[/img] |
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10-01-2014, 02:36 PM
Post: #7
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RE: post jokes
Here's one lawyer-joke that I found from Jokes' site:
Steve lies dying, as Jack, his law partner of 40 years, sits at his bedside. "Jack, I've got to confess -- I've been sleeping with your wife for 30 years, I'm the father of your daughter, and I've been stealing from the firm for a decade." "Relax," says Jack, "and don't think another thing about it. I'm the one who put arsenic in your martini." |
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11-24-2014, 04:20 PM
(This post was last modified: 11-24-2014 04:51 PM by Aipico Armand.)
Post: #8
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RE: <<< ~Post your Fav. jokes here~ >>>
*Long back, a person who sacrificed his sleep, forgot his family, forgot his food, forgot laughter were called "Saints",
But now they are called.. "IT professionals" *What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud *If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless ? *What is invisable and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts *Here I sit in misty vapour in a shithouse with no paper I have no time to sit and linger watch out asshole here comes finger! *Why does a squirrle swim on its back? To keep its nuts dry *I love Pandas, they're so chill. They're like "Dude, racism is stupid. I'm White, Black, and Asian....." Q: Why is Facebook like Jail? A: You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don't really know *Do not be racist , be like Mario. He's an italian plumber, made by Japanese people, who speaks english, looks like a mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a jew *Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!" |
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