0|TURN ON SOUND?
1|ARE YOU SURE?
2|NO
3|YES
4|SELECT
5|CONTINUE
6|BACK
7|QUIT
8|MAIN MENU
9|GAME PAUSED
10|CONTINUE
11|NEW
12|OPTIONS
13|HELP
14|QUIT
15|SOUND:ON
16|SOUND:OFF
17|ABOUT
18|LOADING
19|RESUME
20|MISSION SELECT
21|COCOJAMBO
|CHEZ WINK
|RECEPTION
|STAFF ROOM
|SUITE 1
|SUITE 2
|SUITE 3
|SUITE 4
|ENSUITE 1
|ENSUITE 2
|ENSUITE 3
|ENSUITE 4
|POOL
|KITCHEN
35|MISSIONS COMPLETED
36|PAUSE
37|MISSION
38|CHAT
39|
40|INTERACT
41|DOOR
42|
43|EXIT
44|BUY
45|OK
46|INFO
47|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
57|
58|CALL
59|MORALITY
60|MISSION BRIEF
61|SOUND
62|VOLUME UP
63|VOLUME DOWN
64|MUTE
65|GOSSIP
66|SELECT ROOM
67|
68|
69|
70|MY
IS
A
HIS
HER
71|
72|VIBES
73|
74|EVA (MAID)
OSCAR (BARTENDER)
SCULLY (CHEF)
CONAN (PORTER)
DOM (CONCIERGE)
LONDON (MANAGER)
OZZEEE
FAN
AGENT BAUMER
DONUT-ELLA
BODYGUARD
GENERIC TANNED GUY
ALIEN
BIG TONY
PRESIDENT BLUSH
MICHAEL DICK
TIARA RUDE
GENERIC TANNED GIRL
BAUMER JR
BRODDY
OLIVER LEWIS
MR SMITH
SAM SAUVAGE
VICK WHITTINGTON
MARY MENDOZA
MARGE TYLER
LEAD GUITARIST
BASSIST
DRUMMER
SAXOPHONIST
BOTTLE BLOWER
ANGELONER
HEALTH INSPECTOR
OBARMY
HARRY HAMMER
JERRY JURY
SAM SENTENCE
CHRIS COURTER




SAUSAGE
PURSE
BOMB
ACID BOTTLE
GUN
GOLF CLUB
HAND MIRROR
DEAD CAT
DEAD PORTER
FRIDGE
GAMEDUDE
WET TOWEL
CLOTHES
PHOTO
















SCRAP
SCRAP
SCRAP
TOXIC TUNA
WALLET
PHONE
PC
FRONT DOOR
FILING CABINET
URN
SEATING AREA
FRAMED PHOTO
RECEPTION DESK
VENDING MACHINE
PIZZA BOX
STAFF TABLE
FISHTANK
STOVE
SINK
POTS
TABLE 1
TABLE 2
TABLE 3
COUNTER
SLOT MACHINE
BED
TABLE
SAFE
MIRROR
TOILET
TRASHCAN
PILLOW
75|TV
POSTER
PAINTING
PLANT
VENUS
JOAQUIN ADEZ
JONNY DOPPE
MILLIE CYRUS
O.C. SAMPSON
AMADEUS ADEZ
CODY CONNOR
ED CONNOR
JEROME CURVEBALL
JUDE CRUNCH
PETEY PRATT
ASTROLOGY PAMPHLET
MR EDGAR
MRS EDGAR
EDGAR JR
76|
77|OBJECTIVES
78|THERE ARE NO CURRENT OBJECTIVES
79|MISSION COMPLETE!
TIME TAKEN


VIBES THIS MISSION:
80|NEW OBJECTIVE!
81|OBJECTIVE COMPLETE!
82|NO DATA
83|JOURNAL
84|RESERVATIONS
85|INSTANT MAKEOVER
86|ALARM
87|AM
88|PM
89|THE BELL SOUNDS WORSE THAN MAD DONNA SCREAMING IN MY EAR WITH TONSILLITIS
90|I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT.
I'M BUSY RIGHT NOW.
CAN WE TALK LATER?
91|COMPETITIONS
92|MISSION
93|LIFT DOOR
94|CONFIRM
95|BINGO...
LEFT
GOTTA HURRY
PHEW, THATS ALL OF 'EM
96|NOTHING THERE
97|PLEASE, TAKE IT AWAY!
98|WHAT, YOU THOUGHT I WANTED TO KEEP THIS HORRIBLE THING!?
99|OH, UM, HERE... I MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN TO PUT THIS ONE OUT...
100|I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT THE PICTURES MEAN
101|DARN, I KNEW THIS WAS TOO GOOD TO LAST. HERE YOU GO.
102|IF ONLY SHE HADN'T REALISED...
103|I DON'T NEED TO USE THAT RIGHT NOW.
THAT WON'T HELP ME AT THE MOMENT.
THERE IS NOTHING USEFUL HERE.
104|HOTEL
OS 0.1
105|PERSONAL INFO
106|
107|
108|NOTHING THERE...
109|
110|
111|
112|
113|STAR RATING +
114|DELETE
115|
116|CONGRATULATIONS!
GAME COMPLETE
TOTAL VIBES

117|NOW MIGHT BE A GOOD TIME TO USE THE PHONE
118|MINS
119|SECS
120|
121|
122|HMM...MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE A LOOK THROUGH OUR FILING CABINET FOR FORMER GUESTS OF THE HOTEL
123|WHO IS THIS...I THINK YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER
124|INCORRECT CODE
125|ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO START A NEW GAME?
THIS WILL DELETE YOUR CURRENTLY SAVED GAME.
126|RESET
127|CREDITS
128|
129|PRESS STAR(*) TO DELETE
130|VIEW
|0|
HOLLYWOOD HOTEL
VERSION


TECHNICAL SUPPORT:
SUPPORT@PLAYERX.COM

PUBLISHED BY
STUDIO X.

STUDIO X IS THE CONTENT DIVISION OF PLAYER X LTD.

WWW.PLAYERX.COM
 2008.

PUBLISHED BY STUDIO X, A TRADING NAME OF PLAYER X LTD.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.


GAME DESIGN, CODE AND GRAPHICS COPYRIGHT  BIG HEAD GAMES LTD 2008
1|
VIBES ARE CALCULATED USING THE FOLLOWING CRITERIA:

THE CHOICES THAT YOU MAKE DURING THE MISSION, THE SUCCESS OR FAILURE OF THE MISSION.

GAME CONTROLS:

LEFT/RIGHT/4/6 - CYCLES THROUGH OBJECTS

UP/2 - CYCLES THROUGH DOORS

DOWN/8 - CYCLES THROUGH PEOPLE

5/TRIGGER - SELECT


MENU CONTROLS:

UP/2 - SCROLL UP

DOWN/8 - SCROLL DOWN

LEFT/4 - SCROLL LEFT

RIGHT/6 - SCROLL RIGHT

FIRE/5 - SELECT


IF YOUR PHONE HAS A JOYSTICK, DIRECTIONAL KEYS, TRACKWHEEL OR TRACKBALL, YOU CAN ALSO USE THOSE.
2|CONGRATULATIONS!

THE HOTEL STAR RATING HAS INCREASED.


3|CONGRATULATIONS!

YOU HAVE UNLOCKED ALL GOSSIP... VIBES +50,000!
4|



5|



6|
BIG HEAD GAMES

DAVE VOUT
LAWRENCE CLARK
REMI AKILAPA
TOMAS KIKALAS
DARREN ANDERSON
ADAM TWEEN
OSMAN NAZLIVATAN
NED LANGMAN
PHIL WILLIAMS
STEFAN SADLER
LUKE ANDERSON

STUDIO X 

PRODUCTION

ROBERT GODOY
PAUL MARSHALL
FLORENT CLAUDY

QA

ADAM GRACE
MARCUS SMIKLE
MATTHEW POON
DENVER COCKELL

SPECIAL THANKS

TONY PEARCE
JOANNE LACEY
LAUREN OMOND
TERRI LEARY
CHRIS HANAGE
DAVE UNSTEAD
CEDRIC MAISONNIER
NETTA EMANUEL
PAULO GORAB
7|
8|
9|
10|








11|







#|HELLTON'S KITCHEN NIGHTMARE
|-
-
-
-
|
|BAR
|THE DOOR IS LOCKED
|POOL
|SPARE ROOM
|BEDROOM4
|BEDROOM3
|STAFF ROOM
|BEDROOM2
|BEDROOM1
|ENSUITE4
|ENSUITE3
|ENSUITE2
|RESTAURANT
|ENSUITE1
|KITCHEN
|RECEPTION
|LOGIN INCORRECT. PLEASE CONTACT THE SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR: NOBRAIN2008@AXTHELM.US
|SO LIKE, WE OPEN IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS AND AS FREAKIN' USUAL I'VE BARELY HAD TIME TO FIX MY MAKE UP BECAUSE EVERYTHING HAS EITHER GONE WRONG OR NOT AT ALL... 
 JUST BE GLAD YOU AREN'T HEATHER HILLS! 
 I WISH YOU'D STOP SAYING THAT. WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE, TRAINING STAFF ALL DAY, I MEAN, WHERE THE HECK HAVE YOU BEEN? 
 HAPPY HOUR AT THE MALE BATH HOUSE WAS RUNNING EXTRA LONG TODAY, GIMME A BREAK! 
 ONE MORE STUPID COMMENT AND YOU CAN GET LOST, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS BS TODAY! AHHGHHHHHH! 
 UMMM MY TICKLISH BACKSIDE IS PLAYING UP AGAIN IF YOU MUST KNOW, JEEZ... JUST CHILL BABE AND TELL ME WHAT THE MATTER IS... 
 THE CHEF SHOULD BE HERE ANY MOMENT AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN SAID HELLO TO THE PORTER OR MAID YET. MAKE SURE THEY ARE SETTLING IN COMFORTABLY. 
 OR AT LEAST, AS COMFORTABLY AS CAN BE EXPECTED IN A DUMP LIKE... UMMM... YEP RIGHT AWAY MA'AM! 
GREET PORTER AND MAID
YOU CAN VIEW OBJECTIVE INFO BY SELECTING THE CHARACTER YOU ARE CONTROLLING. 
 CYCLE THROUGH OBJECTS IN THE ROOM BY PRESSING LEFT/4 AND RIGHT/6, AND SELECT THEM WITH TRIGGER/5. 
PRESSING UP/2 WILL CYCLE THROUGH DOORS. 
PRESSING DOWN/8 WILL CYCLE THROUGH PEOPLE.
|THE CHEF SHOULD BE HERE ANY MOMENT AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN SAID HELLO TO THE PORTER OR MAID YET. MAKE SURE THEY ARE SETTLING IN COMFORTABLY.
|WHY HELLO MR. CRUISER! 
 HEY... CONAN O'BRAIN, RIGHT? HAVE YOU BEEN HERE LONG? 
 OH ERR, 41 YEARS TO BE EXACT, ALTHOUGH I DON'T FEEL THAT OLD! MY MOTHER SAYS THAT SOME GROWN UPS TAKE LONGER GETTING USED TO LIFE, LIKE ROBIN WILLYUMS IN THAT MOVIE... 
 POPEYE? 
 NO, OHHH MERCY ME I CANNOT RECALL IT. 
 YOU DON'T KNOW JACK! 
 (THIS FREAK WON'T LAST A DAY, NO POINT WASTING MY BREATH...) 
 I'VE GOTTA GET ON, GIMME A SHOUT IF YOU NEED ANYTHING BUD.  
 WELL I SUFFER FROM A PERPETUALLY INFECTED THROAT SO SHOUTING IS A RATHER SORE POINT, PERHAPS I COULD JUST TUG AT YOUR COAT TAILS IF I REQUIRE ATTENTION? 
 UMMM, WHATEVER.
|IT'S SO NICE TO BE IN A BUILDING WITH A ROOF FOR ONCE! 
| THIS IS MORE LIKE IT... WHAT'S YOUR NAME CUTIE PIE! 
 HEHE, I'M EVA LINGERIE.
|HOW IS IT BEST TO KISS WHEN YOU FIRST MEET SOMEONE?
|PASSIONATELY
|POLITELY
|THERE IS MORE TO EACH MORAL DECISION THAN MEETS THE EYE... CHOOSE YOUR PATH CAREFULLY! 
 IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU MY DEAR. IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN... HELP YOU WITH? 
 MOST OF THE TOILETS ARE BLOCKED WITH BROWN ONIONS, WOULD I BE ABLE TO GET SOME INDUSTRIAL BLEACH? 
 UMMM... I'M SURE THAT CAN BE ARRANGED... 
 GREAT... OTHERWISE I'M JUST PEACHY! CATCH YOU LATER SUGAR!
GREET PORTER AND MAID
|UMMM, SOMETHING LIKE, TOTALLY BOGUS JUST HAPPENED... I WAS HELPING PIERRE THE CHEF WITH DIRECTIONS, THEN HE STOPPED AT A JUNCTION AND AFTER SOME MUFFLED CLICKING SOUNDS SAID HE WAS SORRY BUT HAD TO RETURN TO FRANCE IMMEDIATELY! AGHHHHH! 
 WHAT A KICK IN THE GAULS... 
 TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE I JUST FOUND SOME OF THE BACKUP CHEF'S DETAILS IN A CHEWED UP SCRAP ON THE STAFF ROOM FLOOR. DOM, STOP HARASSING THIS POOR DEFENSELESS GIRL AND FIGURE OUT THE MISSING PHONE NUMBER! ONCE YOU'VE PIECED IT BACK TOGETHER, GIVE HER A CALL.
SPECIAL OBJECTS IN THE GAME ARE REPRESENTED BY STARS, WHICH FLASH WHEN THE CURSOR IS ABOVE.
CALL THE BACKUP CHEF
|CATCH YOU LATER SUGAR!
|ONCE YOU'VE PIECED IT BACK TOGETHER, GIVE HER A CALL. 
|UMMM... 2438 LY SM
2438
LY SM
|CODES AND NUMBERS THAT YOU FIND AROUND THE HOTEL ARE STORED IN THE JOURNAL. YOU CAN ACCESS THIS PAGE BY PRESSING THE LEFT SOFT KEY WHEN DIALING. 
DIALING IS EASY - JUST USE THE KEYS ON YOUR PHONE! IF THE CORRECT NUMBER IS ENTERED, THE LINE WILL CONNECT. IF YOU MAKE A MISTAKE, PRESS RIGHT SOFT KEY TO EXIT.
|HMM... -3688 ITH
3688
 ITH
|AHHH... 7327- SCUL
7327
SCUL
|732724383688
SCULLY SMITH SPEAKING. 
 (WOAH, HER VOICE IS MORE GRAVELLY THAN KATHLEEN TURNHER... HOPEFULLY THEY WON'T LOOK TOO SIMILAR!) 
 YO, I'M CALLING ON BEHALF OF LONDON HELLTON REGARDING THE CHEF VACANCY AT CHEZ WINK. 
 YES. I WAS EXPECTING YOU. 
 ...UHHH, I MEAN, TELL ME MORE! 
 THE POSITION HAS BECOME AVAILABLE AT SHORT NOTICE, I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WOULD STILL BE INTERES- 
 I'LL BE RIGHT THERE, THANKS DOM! 
 (UMMM... HOW DID SHE KNOW MY NAME...)
CALL THE BACKUP CHEF
|SHE'S ON HER WAY.
HOT! BY THE WAY, YOU CAN USE THE RECEPTION DESK PC TO VIEW RESERVATION DATA OF THE DAYS GUESTS, AND CUSTOMIZE THE APPEARANCE OF ROOMS. WE DON'T HAVE MUCH WALLPAPER OR FLOORING TO CHOOSE FROM YET, BUT SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO!
SELECTING INSTANT MAKEOVER WITHIN THE PC WILL ALLOW YOU TO REDECORATE WITH ANY WALLPAPERS AND CARPETS UNLOCKED ALONG THE WAY. CERTAIN COMBINATIONS FOR EACH ROOM WILL EARN A VIBES BONUS, WHILE OTHERS WILL INCUR A PENALTY SO BE SURE TO KEEP DECORATING UNTIL YOU FIND THE PERFECT MATCH!
LOG INTO PC
|YOU CAN USE THE RECEPTION DESK PC TO VIEW RESERVATION DATA OF THE DAYS GUESTS, AND CUSTOMIZE THE APPEARANCE OF ROOMS. WE DON'T HAVE MUCH WALLPAPER OR FLOORING TO CHOOSE FROM YET, BUT SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO!
| ANY IDEA WHY THE PC ISN'T LETTING ME LOG IN, BRO? 
 OH YES I WAS ATTEMPTING TO INSERT A MUSIC CASSETTE AND IT STARTED ASKING ME ALL KINDS OF PERSONAL QUESTIONS - I CHOSE A PASSWORD WITH ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY EIGHT LETTERS FOR EXTRA PROTECTION! 
 ... 
 DO NOT FRET, I WROTE IT ON A SOILED HANDKERCHIEF! 
GOT ITEM: SLIMY LOGIN INFO
|THINK I HAVE TIME TO MESS AROUND WITH COMPUTERS WHEN THERE'S SO MUCH OTHER 'MESS'? 
 YOW...
|ITEM USED: SLIMY LOGIN INFO
LOG INTO PC
|KEEP THE HANKY, MY GIFT TO YOU!
|HELLO... LONDON HELLTON AND DOM CRUISER, RIGHT?
(WOAHHHH MAMA SHE'S A FIRECRACKER!)
|HEY, UMMM, THANKS FOR COMING, I'VE GOT SOME GOOD NEWS AND SOME BAD NEWS... 
 THE GOOD NEWS IS NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOUR COOKING SUCKS WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO WASTE SO YOU'RE HIRED, AND WE CAN ALL GO HOME EARLY TO CELEBRATE. THE BAD NEWS IS WE HAVE A 2AM START TOMORROW TO PREPARE FOR OUR VERY IMPORTANT FIRST GUEST!
|LOG INTO PC HELLO... LONDON AND DOM, RIGHT? 
 (WOAHHHH MAMA SHE'S A FIRECRACKER!)|OBARMY WHERE ART THOU?
|-
-
-
-
|S. OBARMY
-
-
-
|
|BAR
|THE DOOR IS LOCKED
|POOL
|SPARE ROOM
|BEDROOM4
|BEDROOM3
|STAFF ROOM
|BEDROOM2
|BEDROOM1
|ENSUITE4
|ENSUITE3
|ENSUITE2
|RESTAURANT
|ENSUITE1
|KITCHEN
|RECEPTION
|MY OLD... FRIEND... SENATOR OBARMY WILL BE ARRIVING IN A FEW MINUTES TO KICK OFF THE CALIFORNIAN LEG OF HIS PUBLICITY CAMPAIGN, I ASKED CONAN TO LEAVE SOME SUPPORT FLYERS AROUND BUT THE BOX IS UNTOUCHED.
THESE POLITICIANS YOU ''SUPPORT'' ARE ALL THE SAME TO ME, BUT IF IT GETS US A DONATION, I'M NOT GONNA STOP YOU!
|I FINISHED HANDING OUT THOSE PICTURES LIKE YOU ASKED!
UMMM... THEN WHY IS THE BOX STILL FULL?
WHAT BOX? I FOUND THEM IN THE DRAWER OF YOUR DESK!
OMG... THOSE ARE PRIVATE, INTIMATE PICTURES OF ME AND THE SENATOR YOU MORON!!! DOM, HURRY AND GRAB THEM - HE WILL BE HERE ANY MOMENT!
RETRIEVE THE SCANDALOUS PHOTOS
|ADJUSTING FOR THE PHOTOS I KEPT AT HOME THERE SHOULD BE TWENTY LYING AROUND, DON'T COME BACK UNTIL YOU FOUND 'EM ALL!!!
|IF ONLY SHE HADN'T REALISED...
|PLEASE, STOP SHOVING IT IN MY FACE!
|WAIT, ONE OF THESE IS A RECIEPT FOR GREY SOCKS!? GO AND ASK CONAN WHAT HE HAS DONE WITH THE LAST PICTURE.
|I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT THE PICTURES MEAN.... 
 I'LL EXPLAIN WHEN YOUR OLD...UMMM, MATURE ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND.
|OOPS, TOO LATE! OBARMY DOES NOT AGREE THAT ALL PUBLICITY IS GOOD PUBLICITY.

VIBES DOWN!
|UM HELLO? THERE'S STILL ONE MISSING.
|HEHEHEHE
|YOU JUST MISSED CONAN TRYING TO HIDE IN THE STOVE.
|I CAN'T LOOK AT ANYONE RIGHT NOW... ALL I CAN SEE IS... UGH....
|PRECIOUS PICTURE... IT BELONGS TO ME NOW...   
  IF A MEMBER OF STAFF IS WITHHOLDING SOMETHING IMPORTANT FROM YOU, YOU MIGHT NEED TO PROVE YOU'RE WORTHY BY TAKING A FRIENDSHIP TEST. MAKE SURE YOU KNOW ALL THE LATEST GOSSIP GOING AROUND FROM OTHER STAFF - FAILING THE TEST WILL LOWER YOUR VIBES!
|FINE, TAKE IT... I HAVE OTHER PICTURES AT HOME...  
 GOT PHOTO #20!
RETRIEVE THE SCANDALOUS PHOTOS 
 SENATOR OBARMY HAS ARRIVED IN RECEPTION.
|PSST... WELL DONE... HE'S BEEN STUCK IN THE BACK OF THE LIMO THINKING ABOUT ME FOR 5 HOURS...
|I'M GONNA TAKE THE AFTERNOON OFF TO CALM DOWN AT HOME.
|IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU - BUT RIGHT NOW THERE ARE SOME VIDEOS FROM MY LAST...AHEM... CAMPAIGN TOUR THAT I CAN'T WAIT TO SHOW MS. HELLTON, PLEASE EXCUSE US.
|THE NEXT MORNING
|AS A RESULT OF THE SURPRISNGLY ACCOMMODATING AND... AHEM - ENJOYABLE STAY, I'VE BEEN ABLE TO REDIRECT SOME CAMPAIGN MONEY SO THAT THIS PLACE CAN GET A LITTLE FACELIFT... NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE BABIES TO KISS - VOTE OBARMY!|CRUNCH TIME
|TIARA RUDE
JUDE CRUNCH
OMARN BURB
PRATT FAMILY
|
|BAR
|THE DOOR IS LOCKED
|POOL
|SPARE ROOM
|BEDROOM4
|BEDROOM3
|THIS ROOM HAS BEEN RENTED FOR A PRIVATE FUNCTION. DO NOT DISTURB!
|STAFF ROOM
|BEDROOM2
|BEDROOM1
|ENSUITE4
|ENSUITE3
|ENSUITE2
|RESTAURANT
|ENSUITE1
|KITCHEN
|RECEPTION
|SINCE MOWGLUS V'S HOSTILITY RATING HAS DOUBLED IN 6 MONTHS TO A STAGGERING 9953, THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A BETTER TIME TO VISIT!
9953
MOWGLUS V
|THE RECENT INCREASE OF INSEMINATUM'S AXIAL TILT TO 78 DEGREES HAS BEEN REPORTED TO HAVE INCREASED THE PLEASURE FACTOR ON MOWGLUS V BY 20 PERCENT.
78
INSEMINATUM
|MOWGLUS V CAN BE THOUGHT OF AS A FRAGILE EGG WHEN COMPARED TO THE DENSITY OF COMPILATUS (743 KILOGRAMS PER CUBIC INCH). HOWEVER, DUE TO THE EXTREME GRAVITY, EGGS CANNOT BE LAID ON EITHER PLANET.
743
COMPILATUS
|THE TEMPERATURE OF DOMUTEX IS A SPICY 788 DEGREES CENTIGRADE. TOURISTS WHO DON'T ENJOY STAR BATHING SHOULD PERHAPS CONSIDER NEARBY NEIGHBOUR COMPILATUS, WHICH OFFERS MORE SUBDUED CLIMATES IN THE SUB ZERO REGION.
788
DOMUTEX
|DOM AND I NEED TO VISIT A HOTEL IN FIJI FOR "CONSUMER RESEARCH" PURPOSES. SINCE THE PORTER AND MAID BARELY HAVE HALF A BRAIN BETWEEN THEM, WE'RE RELYING ON YOU TO KEEP THE PLACE RUNNING.
BUT I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE OF DEALING WITH GUESTS...
RELAX IT'S LIKE, ONLY FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS... TOODLES!
|STAYING IN A TWO BIT JOINT LIKE THIS MEANS I CAN EASILY AFFORD TO PARTY EVERY NIGHT! (WHEEZE)...
|OH SURE, I'VE SEEN A WEIRD CREATURE. IT HAS A SLOPED FOREHEAD, SHINY WET EYES, STRANGE THROATY VOICE... I EVEN KNOW WHERE IT IS.
PLEASE, TELL ME!
STANDING IN RECEPTION... BEEN THERE ALL DAY, HEHE!
|(FINALLY, A REAL CHANCE TO INVESTIGATE THE STRANGE REPORTS I'VE HEARD ABOUT THIS PLACE...)
THE PHONE IS RINGING IN RECEPTION.
|SOME OF THESE ASTROLOGY DOCUMENTS LYING AROUND ARE FASCINATING, IT MAKES ME WANT TO GO ON HOLIDAY!
|CORRELATING ALL ARTICLES... CROSS REFERENCING SPEECH DATABASE WITH FOREIGN DICTIONARY... ENGLISH COMPREHENSION PATCH IN PROGRESS...
I'LL UH... LEAVE YOU TO IT.
|HELLO? SO IS THERE ANY PROGRESS REGARDING MY MISSING SUBJECT? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP ME UPDATED AFTER FIRST CONTACT!
(NO WAY... THIS MUST BE THE ALIEN I'M CHASING!)
ERR, WE'RE STILL WORKING ON IT SIR...
OH DEAR, I SPOKE TO A GENTLEMAN NAMED DOM CRUISER BEFORE... I TOLD HIM NOT TO TELL ANYONE...
DON'T WORRY SIR, IT'S JUST THE TWO OF US... I'LL UM, CALL YOU BACK AS SOON AS THERE IS ANY NEWS.
OK... MY NAME IS PROFESSOR ZABBA, THE NUMBER OF MY LAB IS 9222-2785-3765, IT'S BEEN SO LONG NOW THAT I'M WORRIED IT MAY HAVE STARTED... LEARNING.
SEARCH HOTEL FOR "MISSING SUBJECT"
9222-2785-3765
ZABBA
|...
|...
WOAH! DON'T MOVE!
|(DARN, IT'S TOO FAR BACK FOR ME TO REACH)
PLEASE COME OUT, I WON'T HURT YOU!
(AT LEAST, NOT UNTIL WE INTERROGATE YOU... HEH HEH HEH)
I'M NOT COMING OUT UNTIL YOU SPEAK TO MY LEADER! MY LEADER KNOWS ALL!
(LEADER? I CAN'T BELIEVE MY LUCK!)
TELL ME SPACEMAN, HOW DO I REACH YOUR LEADER?
INPUT THE TEMPERATURE OF DOMUTEX, FOLLOWED BY THE DENSITY OF COMPILATUS, THE AXIAL TILT OF INSEMINATUM AND THE HOSTILITY RATING OF MOWGLUS V INTO ONE OF YOUR EARTH BASED PHONES TO SPEAK WITH MASTER BOTT!
|INPUT THE TEMPERATURE OF DOMUTEX, FOLLOWED BY THE DENSITY OF COMPILATUS, THE AXIAL TILT OF INSEMINATUM AND THE HOSTILITY RATING OF MOWGLUS V INTO ONE OF YOUR EARTH BASED PHONES TO SPEAK WITH MASTER BOTT!
|788743789953
 DOCTOR BOTT PRATT SPEAKING - I'M VERY BUSY, WHO IS THIS?
ERR... GREETINGS? A LITTLE ALIEN TOLD ME TO DIAL THIS NUMBER SO I COULD SPEAK WITH HIS LEADER...
THAT'S MY SON IN HIS FAVOURITE COSTUME YOU PUDDING HEAD, NOW LET ME GET BACK TO SEPARATING THESE SIAMESE QUADRUPLETS... I WAS PROMISED THAT SOMEONE WOULD TAKE GOOD CARE OF HIM WHILE I WAS IN TOWN FOR THIS, NOT WASTE MY TIME! GOOD DAY TO YOU!
|SNORT... SNORT... SNORT...
VERY FUNNY, BRAT...
OH, YOU'RE NOT LAUGHING... WHAT'S THE MATTER...
MY COSTUME GOT PULLED OFF WHEN I WAS CLIMBING OUT AND NOW IT'S MELTED... WAAAAH... SNORT.
AWW... HELP YOURSELF TO SOME THREE MONTH OLD ALMOND TORTE IF YOU LIKE...
(I GUESS I SHOULD CALL PROFESSOR ZABBA AND GIVE HIM THE BAD NEWS...)
SEARCH HOTEL FOR "MISSING SUBJECT"
PHONE PROF. ZABBA
|OH SURE, I'VE SEEN A WEIRD CREATURE. IT HAS A SLOPED FOREHEAD, SHINY WET EYES, STRANGE THROATY VOICE... I EVEN KNOW WHERE IT IS.
PUT A SOCK IN IT.
|SNORT... SNORT... SNORT...
HELP YOURSELF TO SOME THREE MONTH OLD ALMOND TORTE IF YOU LIKE...
|922227853765
BAD NEWS PROF - THE ALIEN TURNED OUT TO BE A HOAX.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN ALIEN?! I'M LOOKING FOR MY ESCAPED ROBOT OSCAR, I THOUGHT YOU KNEW THAT...
WELL, I KNOW NOW!
WHETHER HE'S REMOVED IT OR NOT, MY SATELLITES REPORT A 100% SUCCESSFUL TRACE ON HIS TRACKING DEVICE. IF YOU HAVEN'T FOUND HIM BY THE TIME I CALL BACK, I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SEND SOME FUGITIVE RECOVERY SPECIALISTS OVER... AND THEY ALWAYS TEND TO MAKE AN AWFUL MESS OF THINGS...
GULP...
PHONE PROF. ZABBA
FIND OSCAR
|OSCAR?
AFFIRMATIVE, OOPS I MEAN ERR... MY NAME IS JUDE CRUNCH, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.
PROFESSOR ZABBA WANTS YOU BACK.
NO, I WON'T GO! THE ONLY ROBOTS I HAVE TO TALK TO BACK THERE ARE FRIDGES WITH BLUETOOTH, MY BRAIN CIRCUITS WILL MELT FOR CERTAIN!
THE PHONE IS RINGING IN RECEPTION.
PLEASE, DON'T TELL HIM I'M HERE, I BEG YOU...
FIND OSCAR
|PLEASE, DON'T TELL HIM I'M HERE, I BEG YOU...
|HELLO PROFESSOR...
|DID YOU FIND OSCAR?
|YES
|NO
|MARVELLOUS, WHAT A RELIEF... LISTEN, I KNOW HOW MUCH HE HATES IT HERE IN SILICON VALLEY SO I'VE BEEN THINKING, OSCAR WAS DESIGNED TO CARRY OUT MENIAL HUMAN TASKS, BUT WE HAVEN'T DONE A PROPER FIELD TEST YET - WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO LET HIM STAY ON FOR A WHILE AT YOUR HOTEL AS A BARTENDER?
BUT WE DON'T HAVE A BAR...
OH DON'T WORRY, THAT'S WHAT RESEARCH GRANTS ARE FOR!
|I'VE GOT A TRUTH DETECTOR HOOKED UP TO THE PHONE SO THERE'S NO POINT FIBBING...
LISTEN, I KNOW HOW MUCH HE HATES IT HERE IN SILICON VALLEY SO I'VE BEEN THINKING, OSCAR WAS DESIGNED TO CARRY OUT MENIAL HUMAN TASKS, BUT WE HAVEN'T DONE A PROPER FIELD TEST YET - WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO LET HIM STAY ON FOR A WHILE AT YOUR HOTEL AS A BARTENDER?
BUT WE DON'T HAVE A BAR...
OH DON'T WORRY, THAT'S WHAT RESEARCH GRANTS ARE FOR!|DON'T BANK ON IT
|SYZLACK FAMILY
-
JEROME CURVEBALL
PATEL FAMILY
|
|BAR
|OPENING HOURS 7AM - MIDNIGHT
|POOL
|THE DOOR IS LOCKED
|SPARE ROOM
|BEDROOM4
|THE PATEL FAMILY ARE ASLEEP IN THIS ROOM.
|BEDROOM3
|STAFF ROOM
|BEDROOM2
|BEDROOM1
|THE SYZLACK FAMILY ARE ASLEEP IN THIS ROOM.
|ENSUITE4
|ENSUITE3
|ENSUITE2
|RESTAURANT
|ENSUITE1
|KITCHEN
|RECEPTION
|HEY, SORRY I COULDN'T COME SOONER... TOOK LONGER THAN USUAL TO GET MY MONEYS WORTH FROM CHANNEL EXOTICA. SAW THE COPS HAD ARRIVED OUT FRONT, DID YOU TALK TO THEM YET?
A RATHER GRUMPY OFFICER CAME TO THE DOOR AND COMPLAINED THAT BEING DRAGGED OUT OF BED AT 2AM TO BABY SIT A HYSTERICAL MR. BEAN LOOKALIKE WAS NOT IN HIS JOB DESCRIPTION.
(SNIGGER)
SO THEY HAVE THE BUILDING UNDER OBSERVATION, THAT'S GOOD... ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SURE NOTHING WAS STOLEN?
LIKE I SAID, THE GUY WAS SNOOPING AROUND THE PC IN RECEPTION AND RAN FOR IT EMPTY HANDED AS SOON AS I CAME OUT OF THE LIFT. THE SHOCK OF INTRUSION BROUGHT ME TO TEARS...
THE PHONE IS RINGING IN RECEPTION.
PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER POINDEXTER, THIS IS PROBABLY THE COPS CALLING NOW WITH OUR PERP CUFFED AND COLLARED A COUPLE BLOCKS DOWN.
|THE SAFE IS LOCKED.
|SOB...
|LISTEN UP YA FREAKIN' IDIOT, SINCE YA HAVE THAT PLACE SURROUNDED NOW YOUR GONNA HAVE TO FINISH THE JOB FOR ME.
(UMMM FANTASTIC... SO WE'VE MANAGED TO ANGER THE MOB AGAIN)
SHOULDN'T YOU BE ON AN ISLAND SOMEWHERE SINCE THAT PHOTO WENT PUBLIC?
WHAT CAN I SAY... LYING ON DA WHITE SAND, THINKING ABOUT ALL DAT EXTORTION AND RACKETEERING I WAS MISSING OUT ON...BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE.
YOU AND THE PORTER SHOULD GET A ROOM HERE SOME TIME!
...
I DIDN'T MEAN THAT, PLEASE DON'T CUT OUT MY TONGUE.
JUST PAY ATTENTION YOU NUMBSKULL 'CAUSE DIS IS HUGE. DAT ONE NIGHT STOP OVER YOU GOT IN SUITE 3 IS A BENT FINANCIAL TRADER  WITH ACCESS TO HIS BANKS ENTIRE RESERVE OF 38 BILLION DOLLARS - AND I WAS ABOUT TO STICK HIM UP WHEN YOUR BONEHEAD ASSISTANT BUSTED ME AT DA RESERVATIONS SCREEN!
38 B... B... BILLION?
HE THINKS I'M MEETING HIM TO HELP LAUNDER IT OVER DA NET. GRAB MY REVOLVER FROM UPSTAIRS WHILE I UPDATE HIM ON DA SITUATION - MY NUMBER IS 2229-3766-4355.
FINISH GANGSTERS JOB
2229-3766-4355
GANGSTER
|DID THE SCARY MAN LEAVE A REVOLVER DOWN HERE?
WHAT'S THAT, SOME KIND OF  MICROWAVE DISH?
IT'S A GUN YOU NUMBSKULL.
OH... I GET IT, BECAUSE THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND VIOLENCE... VERY CLEVER! YES I PUT IT IN THE SAFE OF THE SUITE WHICH NOBODY IS STAYING IN TONIGHT, WITH A SPECIAL CODE SO THAT I DEFINITELY WOULDN'T GET HURT.
OK, I'VE GOT MY JOURNAL OUT...
REMOVE ALL THE ODD NUMBERS FROM THE FOLLOWING SEQUENCE - 11 9 14 7 20 15 1 4
ARRANGE THE REMAINING NUMBERS FROM HIGHEST TO LOWEST AND THAT WILL GIVE YOU THE CORRECT SEQUENCE!
11 9 14 7 20 15 1 4
CLUE
|I NEED TO FIND THE GUN.
|REMOVE ALL THE ODD NUMBERS FROM THE FOLLOWING SEQUENCE - 11 9 14 7 20 15 1 4
ARRANGE THE REMAINING NUMBERS FROM HIGHEST TO LOWEST AND THAT WILL GIVE YOU THE CORRECT SEQUENCE!
|IF I MESS THIS UP, THE WHOLE HOTEL'S GONNA KNOW ABOUT IT...
|WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON, THAT ALARM ONLY JUST STARTED RINGING AND THE COPS ARE ALREADY OUTSIDE? THIS MUST BE SOME KIND OF SET UP, AND IF I'M GOING DOWN... I'M GONNA TAKE YOU ALL DOWN WITH ME!
|PLEASE DON'T POINT THAT REVOLTING THING AT ME!
DON'T YOU MEAN REVOLVING...
|222937664355
 I GOT DA CODEWORDS. PHONE SIGNAL WAS CUTTIN' OUT SO SOME OF DIS MIGHT BE HARD TA FOLLOW...
EARLY IN DA MORNIN DA SPARROW DOESN'T FLY LOW. LATER ON, DA HAWK BEATS HIS WINGS. INBETWEEN, DA EAGLE LAYS AN EGG.
UMMM... THIS BANKER IS A REAL BIRD BRAIN...
|ABOUT TIME... NOW SPEAK UP OR I'LL FILL YOU WITH SILENCED LEAD.
|GOT ITEM: REVOLVER
HMM... DIDN'T BIG TONY SAY I SHOULD CALL HIM ONCE I FOUND THIS?
|"AT 2AM THE SPARROW FLIES ?????"
|LOW
|HIGH
|"AT 3AM THE EAGLE ????? AN EGG"
|EATS
|LAYS
|"AT 5AM THE HAWK WINGS ?????"
|BEAT
|BREAK
|WRONG... YOU'RE DEAD MEAT BUDDY!
|HMMM ALL CLEAR, VERY WELL...
LET'S START WITH THE SHELL ACCOUNTS IN CAIRO AND DUBAI. CAN YOU CONFIRM THE INTERNET IS WORKING WHILE I MAKE A PRIVATE DEPOSIT IN THE BATHROOM - WAITING AROUND FOR YOU HAS MADE ME RATHER ANXIOUS.
|THE INTERNET CONNECTION APPEARS TO BE WORKING AT A SPEED OF 2.8KB/S.
|HEY, IT'S A BIT SLOW BUT GOGGLE SEEMS TO BE LOADING...
THERE'S BEEN A CHANGE OF PLAN, I DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE. SAY YOUR PRAYERS, MAFIA SCUM!
|PLUG JEROME'S DOUBLE-CROSSING OILY HEAD FULL OF BULLETS?
|YES
|NO
|BLANK STATE
|AHH... WAIT, I WAS ONLY JOKING ABOUT THE SCUM PART... LET ME WIRE THE 10% TO YOUR ASSOCIATES AND I'LL BE ON MY WAY!
FINISH GANGSTERS JOB
|I'VE KILLED PIGS TO GET IN HERE TONIGHT CURVEBALL, DON'T MAKE ME ADD A STINKIN' DOG TO DA LIST AS WELL...
|THE BANKER HOLDS A SILENCED PISTOL AT HIS SIDE.
SHOW YOUR WEAPON.
I DON'T HAVE ONE!
WHAT KIND OF GANGSTER ARE YOU!? THIS MUST BE A TRICK... DIE!
|THE PSYCHOTIC BANKER WAS ARRESTED...
BUT ONLY AFTER LEAVING A HOLE IN THE SKULL OF EVERYONE ELSE IN THE BUILDING!

VIBES DOWN!
|N-NO PROBLEM, I'M ON IT F-F-FRIEND!
FINISH GANGSTERS JOB
|I'VE KILLED RATS TO GET IN HERE TONIGHT CURVEBALL, DON'T MAKE ME ADD A STINKIN' DOG TO DA LIST AS WELL...
N-NO PROBLEM, I'M ON IT F-F-FRIEND!
FINISH GANGSTERS JOB|BONUS MISSION B:
COURT RED HANDED
|HARRY HAMMER
JERRY JURY
SAM SENTENCE
CHRIS COURTER
|
|BAR
|THE DOOR IS LOCKED
|POOL
|SPARE ROOM
|BEDROOM4
|BEDROOM3
|STAFF ROOM
|BEDROOM2
|BEDROOM1
|ENSUITE4
|ENSUITE3
|ENSUITE2
|RESTAURANT
|ENSUITE1
|KITCHEN
|RECEPTION
|CONAN AND HIS TWIN HAD NEVER MET, AND I GUESS THEY NEVER WILL...
|WHO GAVE CONAN'S BROTHER THE KEY TO ROBERT DOWNIT JR.'S DRINK CABINET?
NOT FUNNY DOM, HE'S LIKE... TOTALLY DEAD. CONAN BUMPED INTO SOME PSYCHO WITH BLOODY HANDS IN THE LIFT BEFORE I GOT HERE.
HE LOOKS BORDERLINE HYSTERICAL...
THAT'S KINDA NORMAL, IT'S MORE LIKE THE UMMM, SHOCK OF COMING TO TERMS WITH HIS OWN MORTALITY. ESPECIALLY SINCE THERE'S A MESSAGE SAYING "UR ALL NEXT" CARVED IN THE BODY.
UMMM... DO WE KNOW ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT THIS CRAZY CULPRIT?
APPARENTLY THE KILLER WAS WEARING AN IMPECCABLE ITALIAN SUIT SO... IT COULD BE ANY ONE OF THOSE GORGEOUS LAWYERS WE HAVE BOOKED IN FOR THE SANDY HUSSEIN TRIAL. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T ACCUSE THE WRONG GUY - THEY'RE ALL ITCHING TO SUE SOMEONE AND THE LEGAL FEES WOULD GUARANTEE CLOSURE EVEN IF THE BAD PRESS DIDN'T.
M...M..MM..ME?
HOMICIDE ARE STUCK IN TRAFFIC AND I CAN'T RISK ALL THE TIME AND EFFORT I'VE PUT INTO THIS BEAUTIFUL BODY BEING WASTED AT THE HANDS OF SOME SWEENEY TODD WANNABE. JEEZ DOM... YOU SOUND LIKE YOU WANNA DIE.
THIS PLACE HAS THAT EFFECT ON ME.
ARREST THE PSYCHO KILLER
|GLISTENING... RED... HANDS...
|PLEASE COULD YOU PRESS THE LIFT BUTTON FOR ME, I'VE MANAGED TO GET THIS FAR WITHOUT SPLATTERING RED STAINS ON ANYTHING.
|HMM I WONDER WHICH OF THESE BEAUTIFUL KNIVES I SHOULD TAKE UPSTAIRS, THAT MANAGER OF YOURS IS REALLY ASKING FOR IT...
|NO MATTER HOW MANY SHOWERS I TAKE, I CAN'T GET CLEAN...
BEEN SPENDING LOTS OF TIME IN THE POOL HUH?
OH UHHH... YEAH... ALL MORNING...
|JERRY JURY SAID THE GAZPACHO SOUP I JUST SERVED HIM WAS SO DELICIOUS, HE HAD TO SCRAPE THE BOWL OUT WITH HIS BARE HANDS!
|I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYONE ON THE ROOF TODAY, MAYBE CAUSE OF THAT ACID RAIN CLOUD FLOATING ABOVE THE HOTEL.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
ACID I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYONE UP HERE!
|I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TAKE POOR SAM'S MIND OFF HIS LAST CASE, BUT THE GRISLY LUCID VISIONS HAUNT HIM DAY AND NIGHT. IT KIND OF KILLS THE SEXY ATMOSPHERE WHEN YOUR PARTNER STARTS MUMBLING ABOUT RITUAL MUTILATION.
|I HOPE IT'S NOT HUNKY MR. HAMMER... I LIED ABOUT BEING INTERESTED IN HIS KNOWLEDGE OF KNIVES SO THAT HE'D SHOW ME SOME THINGS IN PRIVATE.
|SHE SCREAMED STOP BUT THE ROPES KEPT GETTING TIGHTER, MANGLED BODIES ALL STACKED IN THE CORNER, PUDDLES OF BLOOD AND WORSE SPLASHED ACROSS THE FLOOR, THOSE MONSTROUS DISTORTED LAUGHING FACES WHY WONT THEY LEAVE ME ALONE...
|ACCUSE HARRY HAMMER?
|YES
|NO
|ACCUSE JERRY JURY?
|ACCUSE SAM SENTENCE?
|ACCUSE CHRIS COURTER?
|"YOU CAN'T STOP THE HANDS OF FATE MAN! YOU'RE JUST TOO BLIND TO SEE REALITY FOR WHAT IT IS, AN ENDLESS LINE OF PUNISHMENTS AND MISERY, PLEASE, WON'T YOU LET ME LIBERATE YOU!?!"

WELL DONE, YOU SELECTED THE CORRECT GUEST!

VIBES UP!
|"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING JERK, GET YOUR DIRTY HANDS OFF OF ME... MAN, I'M GONNA BURY YOU AND THIS STINKIN' MISERABLE ESTABLISHMENT WITH EVERY CHARGE IN THE BOOK!"

OOPS! YOU SELECTED THE WRONG GUEST.

VIBES DOWN...